In this week’s message, we’ll explore why lining up with a goal might feel hard, and why you may even wonder if you were meant to have your desired experience. We’ll look at what sometimes happens when we feel like we’re taking a big leap, and what we want to remember too, so we can step into our heartfelt dreams and desires in an easier and more graceful way. This week, I’m answering a question from a subscriber. Here’s the question: Sometimes I’m confused whether to “try to create” what I want or should I “surrender everything to God” and let His will be done. Are they the same?
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Life Skills, Insights, and Tools For Creating More Awesome!
Do You Surrender It or Create It?
Hi, I’m Elari Onawa, I’ve been a Life On Purpose Coach since 2003. That’s when I took the leap from 20+ years of successful corporate leadership positions to help people discover more purpose and passion. I’m also the author of Just Believe: How Faith In Yourself Shifts Everything!
Welcome to this week’s message for living your version of awesome, welcome to “Do You Surrender It or Create It?”
In this week’s message, we’ll explore why lining up with a goal might feel hard, and why you may even wonder if you are meant to have your desired experience. We’ll look at what sometimes happens when we feel like we’re taking a big leap, and what we want to remember too, so we can step into our heartfelt dreams and desires in an easier and more graceful way. This week, I’m answering a question from a subscriber.
Here’s the question:
Sometimes I’m confused whether to “try to create” what I want or should I “surrender everything to God” and let His will be done. Are they the same?
I’ve worked with thousands of people over the years, to help them line up with what they want, and I will tell you that this question has come up a lot. So, thank you for submitting your inquiry! Lets’ dive in.
There’s part one, which is “should I try to create what I want or should I surrender it to God?” For those of you who prefer a different term, use Higher Power, Great Spirit, Source Intelligence, or whatever term you personally prefer to express your version of the divine.
The second part of this question; should I let his will be done? Are they the same — this question deals with personal will and divine will. We’ll come back to that later.
First, we need to look at part one, so we can better address the second part of this query.
Part one again is “should I try to create what I want or should I surrender it to God?”
Let’s start by talking about the word try for a moment and I’ll show you why this is actually connected to this question.
When we tell ourselves that we are trying or will try to be or do or create something, we are building in the possibility of failure, or a less-than-ideal version of what we really want. When we “try”, we either introduce or reflect our doubt.
Remember, we create in language. So, if we repeatedly tell ourselves something in a certain way, it becomes a belief, an expectation that something will happen in a certain way. So, we take action or avoid it, based on the expectations that we create around our goals. We might even avoid or limit our true desires if we think it’s unlikely that we can have what we really want. There’s a desire, and then there’s the belief about the desire.
Our beliefs about the desire determine what we can be, do and have.
So, if you have caught yourself “trying” to accomplish something, and you’re frustrated because it feels hard, you’ve got company. We’ve all done it at some point; it’s part of growing into our goals. But, we don’t have to stay in confusion or continue wondering if we’re meant to have something.
Let’s look at a few examples or trying versus making a clear, committed choice.
> I will try to be a better listener, or I will be a better listener.
Which is the clear, committed choice? I will try to be a better listener, or I will be?
> I will try to make my financial target, or I will make my financial target.
Which option will produce a better outcome? Do you notice the uncertainty that surfaces with the word try?
But, when you say you will do or will be or will have something, you’re dedicated to that choice. You will have it. You will be it. You will do it.
It’s a clear, committed choice.
> I will try to create a fulfilling relationship, or I will have a fulfilling relationship.
If this was something you truly want to experience, would you invest your precious energy in the first intention of trying, or the second, where you will have it?
When you use the word will, you are creating a strong intention for your future. You are directing energy toward that desire.
Within the first intentions, in trying, there’s a maybe embedded within those declarations. So, I may or may not become a better listener, or may or may not align with my financial goal or I may or may not have a fulfilling relationship.
Can you see that trying actually creates more effort because we’ve introduced confusion, uncertainty, and doubt?
As Master Yoda said; do or do not, there is no try.
When you say I will have that, or I will do that or I am now being that … you’re making a clear, committed choice.
When you take out trying, you go right to being, having and doing, from that choice. If you really want something, do not try. Instead, choose your desire clearly and then allow yourself to have it.
Which brings us to the surrendering part.
What you really want to surrender is the doubt and the related hardship that comes when you “try” to line up with your goals. You don’t want to surrender your heartfelt desire, you want to surrender the doubt. Trying is often an indicator that you doubt your ability to have what you really want. Trying is often an indicator that you feel that the desire is too hard or big.
And after extended periods of trying hard, you will naturally want to surrender or wonder if “it’s meant to be”. But the fact that the desire hasn’t yet arrived, doesn’t mean that it’s not meant to be. You wouldn’t have the desire in the first place if you didn’t want it, and if you weren’t capable of having it.
If you have a desire, you also have the ability to experience that desire. The opportunity resides in letting it be easier.
Sometimes, people will want something for a long time and then give up. Then they’re amazed when the desire shows up. Has this ever happened to you? Well, it wasn’t giving up on the goal that allowed it to come. Rather, when you release or surrender the resistance, your desire can quickly come.
Again, it’s not the goal you want to give up on. Your heartfelt goals call you forth to grow in consciousness. In other words, fulfilled goals require some form of growth. We grow into our goals. We have to upgrade our expectations, so we can have something new, and some goals may require learning new skills. This is part of the fun where we get to grow and anchor new abilities along our respective soul paths. When we forget this, we might feel like surrendering the goal to a higher power.
As I say in my book, “Just Believe: How Faith In Yourself Shifts Everything”, what’s true for every realized goal is a willingness to believe that it’s possible.
So, let’s review the original question again — Sometimes I’m confused whether to “try to create” what I want or should I “surrender everything to God” and let His will be done. Are they the same?
So, onto part two.
Is your will, or desire the same as God’s will?
I cannot speak for God, or for you, of course, but my perspective is that your Higher Power wants you to be the most fulfilled expression of yourself.
That is the purpose of life, to be the best version of you and to have fun as you also learn and grow.
So, if you have a desire, there’s a reason for that. Everything has a purpose and tells you something. As an individual, made in the image of a higher power, someone who has free will, and the ability to choose, doesn’t it make sense that your higher power will support your choices?
It was written well over two thousand years ago, that when you ask, it is given. So, that means you can have what you want.
It does require surrendering what’s getting in the way of you having what you want, and then cultivating faith in what you do want.
Helping my clients master their creative skills is one of the most frequently requested things that people want to learn when they begin a coaching relationship with me. So, I’m here to help if you are drawn to go deeper.
An essential aspect of creating more of what you want, with greater ease is to surrender trying, so you can embrace clear, committed choices.
We are all called to place our faith in a better place, in our ability to have what we truly desire.
Believe, because truly having faith in yourself, and having faith in your desires … well, that shifts everything!
If you’ve discovered something powerful for yourself in this message, forward this video message to others! You can share it by choosing any of the social sharing buttons on this page, or you can click the forward message button in the email if you’re a subscriber. To subscribe to these weekly messages for more of life’s magic and awesomeness, you can do that on my website at this link.
Thanks for watching and I’ll see you next week!