When we say yes when we want to say no, we’re putting the opinions or desires of another, ahead of our own.
Don’t give your life away trying to please others.
I realize this may sound selfish but consider this. When you’re at your best, isn’t it because you’re doing something you really enjoy? What results get produced, from a vantage point of love, versus obligation?
Who would you rather be around; someone who’s lit up by life, or someone who’s just going through the motions?
There’s a common misconception that we can’t do what we love, and be a contribution to others and thrive.
Yet this is never the case. If you’re lit up by a cause or a purpose, you are at your best! You’re also uplifting those around you! You’re making a difference by loving yourself, and your life and following your own path! You’re also honoring, and expressing the Divine within you!
If someone calls you selfish or gets angry with you because you say no to a request or don’t want to play in their sandbox, who’s really being selfish? The one who’s angry because you didn’t drop everything to please them, or the one who had the self-confidence to say no?
It’s a broader perspective, isn’t it? Yet, we don’t have to get angry, feel guilty or defend our choices.
We get to play the game of life on our own terms because that’s
what it means to be a confident, fully soul-expressed individual.
I get that it can take something powerful to stand for your choices in a centered and gentle way. It also takes something special to create something new if it feels like a big stretch … or current conditions or other people’s opinions are running counter to where you want to go.That something that is needed is a deep belief in yourself.
That something is true confidence that comes from the core of who you are. And this isn’t something we typically learn in school or from our friends. We’re trained to seek approval outside ourselves. I think this is what the poet and writer Charles Bukowski meant when he wrote; “can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?”
This is why I share these messages every week and why I am excited to offer my next group coaching program for being unstoppable and confident.
Confidence is a skill and a way-of-being that is essential if we want to live the lives we were born to love!