There are a lot of ways that we might inadvertently delay or dilute the experiences we most want to create in our lives. These myths about “success” keep you from feeling successful, and they can even make you want to give up on your heartfelt dreams and desires. But the truth is — if there’s something you truly want to experience in your life, you have the ability to create it, nurture it, allow it, attract it and receive it, pick your preferred term. You can have it, and you also have the ability to receive it in a way that feels good to you!
Having more of what you want isn’t about working harder, or any of these eight common myths.
See if any of these success and happiness blockers sound familiar to you.
1. I have to learn (or do) more to be good enough.
2. Success is determined by how talented you are.
3. Some people are just luckier than others.
4. Because I’m ___________ (a woman), I have to work harder than ___________ (a man) to get ahead.
5. Success requires sacrifice.
6. If it was meant to be, it would have happened by now.
7. I wasn’t born into the “right family/neighborhood/race”.
8. It’s really hard to _______ (create a business, write a book, balance all these “responsibilities” etc.)
Here is the reality — these are all stories.
These perspectives may have been around for a while, and they may even feel true. But it doesn’t change the fact that they are all made up. Here’s how you can tell. Are they true for everyone? No? That makes them opinions. But, if we take them on as true, they become our reality and so we delay or stop our desired good! I’ve been there and done that and it’s not fun! So, let’s look at some of these perspectives in a broader way.
To be clear, learning more to master your craft, or to improve your skills is a good thing. But learning shouldn’t get in the way of being successful now, at whatever level you are at. Wherever you are, you are successful in various ways. There is always someone looking for your gifts and talents.
Excellence isn’t a skill you acquire, it’s an attitude. So, it’s ongoing and defines how you do things and how you show up. If you value learning like I do, but you wait to claim success … until some level of “perfection” is achieved … you’ll never experience “success” … because you’re effectively telling yourself that you’re not ready yet. And so you create the result of not being ready. And if you think you always have to do more to go to the next level, then you’ll be locked into an ever-expanding To-Do List. Yuck!
What we tell ourselves matters a lot. Our self-talk forms our beliefs and that determines the actions we will and will not take. What we believe to be true determines what we can experience and how we go about having it.
And success is not determined by talent alone, because there are a lot of talented people who are successful and there are also a lot of equally and often more talented people who are not. And luck is not found anywhere other than in our ability to feel or see ourselves as lucky. If we feel that way, we’ll attract it. We’ll make choices that allow “luck” to flourish.
And if we place limitations on ourselves, because of our gender, ethnicity, the past, or our heritage, then we have to live within those limitations, not because they’re True, but because we made them true. The truth is that the success we desire can be easy or it can be hard. It can be fun or it can require a lot of sacrifices.
We get to choose!
As I share in my book “Just Believe: How Faith In Yourself Shifts Everything”
“The results we produce from the rich nurturing environment of love, of believing in ourselves and our heartfelt dreams and desires … are far more beautiful than they could ever be if we were to plant our ideas in the dry, barren soil of not enough.”
Plant your heartfelt desires in fertile soil. Love them, nurture them and care of them. For your dreams and desires are the language of your soul calling you forth to who you truly are.
And you are magnificent!
P.S. If you’re called toward something that feels big, give yourself added support. Make the choice that you can have it in a way that feels great. This book is a powerful resource.