In this week’s message, you’ll learn how to transform unpleasant interactions with others or unwanted events into something that empowers you and others in a deep and liberating way. You’re already awesome, why not share it right? You’ll also learn why everything can always work out for you, even when it might not feel that way at first glance. And I will also show you how you can go deeper with these messages, so you can get even more benefit from them in your daily life experiences. Enjoy!
Time to Liberating Possibilities: Just 14 1/2 Positively Expansive Minutes!
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How To Be A Person Of Positive Influence
In this week’s message, you’ll learn how to transform unpleasant interactions with others or unwanted events into something that empowers you and others in a deep and liberating way. You’ll also learn why everything can always work out for you, even when it might not feel that way at first glance. And I will also show you how you can go deeper with these messages, so you can get even more benefit from them in your daily life experiences.
Hi, I’m Elari Onawa, I’ve been a Life On Purpose Coach since 2003. I’m also the author of Just Believe: How Faith In Yourself Shifts Everything!
Welcome to this week’s message for living your version of awesome, welcome to How To Be A Person Of Positive Influence!
Have you ever felt like you’re caught in a cycle of counterproductive thinking? You see it, but it seems to have a power all its own.
Maybe you second guess yourself, because of someone’s remark … or you feel lost in a conversation that’s based on a disempowering story.
This is actually good because seeing this also means that you are awake and conscious of what is being created. And if it feels negative, you’re also aware that it’s a path you don’t really want to take. It is actually a very good thing to be aware of what’s happening, so you can make a conscious choice that’s in harmony with who you truly are.
And because you are here watching this video, means that you are positively oriented at your core. You love life and want to be a person of positive influence, and you also want to be the best version of yourself, because it feels good to do so. You want to expand fulfillment and positive possibilities and this is indeed good.
So, what do you do with those moments when you realize that you are observing something that you don’t want to cultivate or continue creating?
This answer might surprise you. The first thing you can do is to celebrate it.
Here’s why I say this, in the moments when you are aware and present to something that you don’t want, you’ve been given a gift. You now know with great clarity:
✔︎ who you want to be
✔︎ how you want to show up in your own life
✔︎ and what you really truly want to cultivate.
We get this through variety. If everything and everyone were the same, we wouldn’t and couldn’t be individuals.
When we are present to something we don’t want, it’s also a choice-point, and it’s also where many people get stuck. Why? Because you may be tempted to push against, hide from it, or resist the unwanted situation, in some way. And we do this if we’re making the unwanted thing wrong. And by resisting it, it also persists!
But, if you can, instead, see that everything is here to support you, to help you become a powerful and fulfilled individual, then your life begins to change in a very graceful way.
When you see that everything, and I do mean everything supports you, you can see that there’s actually nothing to resist.
Everything that is showing up in your life, tells you something.
It tells you what you like, and what you don’t like. And it is in understanding your preferences, that you become a self, a powerful soul-realized individual.
When we observe what is around us, we also get valuable feedback about how we are managing our energy, and what we are currently cultivating or expanding in our experiences.
So, what shows up is never a problem. Rather, it is how we are viewing it that creates the problem. For example, if you feel unhappy with someone’s behavior, let’s say they’re rude or making you wrong, at that moment, you have a choice. You can make them wrong in return, or you can analyze why they are acting that way, and in doing so, you still make your feelings about them or … you can see why you are really feeling unhappy or angry. The latter is by far, the more powerful choice, because that is where the opportunity to be happy is — within you. Seeing what’s going on, within you, is where your power to change life events resides.
Transformation and growth are never found in analyzing the other person’s behavior, or by getting caught in the blame game.
When choose instead to see what you really want in the current moment, you place yourself solidly in the driver’s seat of your awesome life.
If, on the other hand, we analyze others, blame, push against, or try to “fix” someone, we put ourselves inside victim consciousness, that life is done to us, and something bad is happening.
But, this is never truly the case. Life happens through us, not to us. Even in moments when we’re observing something unpleasant, as in the example of observing someone’s rudeness or disrespect, we receive a beautiful gift. In the moment of observing what you do not like, you can get abundantly clear about what really matters to you. You can get abundantly clear about how you want to show up in the world. You get to see something transpire that helps you realize a way-of-being or a situation that you don’t like. So, that person or event just facilitated that deeper clarity for you.
What Is Really Your Yes?
So, now you can ask yourself; what do I really want to say yes to? If someone is rude or making you wrong, it is not about you. It’s about the meaning they are creating. It’s the stories they are telling themselves that are producing their way-of-being. So, if you buy into their story about you, you’ll naturally want to defend yourself, and you’re also saying yes to that experience, give me more.
But, if you look at that experience and ask yourself; what do I really want to say yes to … you might find that the answer is something like, respect, self-responsibility, love or kindness. In that moment you received a glimpse into who you really want to be, and into what matters to you.
If you choose what really matters to you, let’s say, for you, that’s respect and self-responsibility. Then embrace that and be that for you. Say yes to respect and self-responsibility for you, because it matters to you because that’s how you want to show up. That’s who you want to be. Be respectful toward yourself first, then cultivate respect in your interactions with others. Be self-responsible first for you, and the life you want to create, then cultivate that in your interactions.
Expecting others to act like we want them to act is like saying we have control over other people’s life lessons. And let’s face it, we’ve all done that. And that’s also okay! It is part of our journey to becoming powerful, Self-realized individuals as we play together in the sandbox of time and space!
Unwanted behavior and events can be problems … or they can be great clarifiers. It’s how we are viewing the people and events in our lives that really matters. When we choose the latter, to see them as the great clarifiers that they are, when we let everything support us in some way, life works!
We are all souls on a journey, and our power is found in committing to our chosen way-of-being, regardless of how other people show up. And everyone is at a different level of skill and understanding. Everyone has different preferences and life lessons and that too is good! That’s what is means to be an individual playing in the sandbox of time and space.
Your power to create more of what you truly want expands when you see that everything supports your growth and happiness when you allow it to. Your true power is found when you choose to stand for something because it matters to you.
Say Yes …
So, what do you want to say yes to today? What is your true yes? When you say yes to what uplifts and empowers you, you are always on the right path. Let your yeses feed your spirit. Say yes to self-leadership. Say yes to your awesomeness. Say yes to how aware and powerful you really are. Say yes to what you want, whether that’s compassion or kindness or self-love, a new home or a more fulfilling career, say yes to whatever makes you smile and thrive. That is your work, to say a big hearty yes to what truly lights you up, to what empowers you. When you embrace your true yes, in an unconditional way, then you are truly free to be the best version of your awesome self.
You have the ability to say yes to anything you want to expand in your daily experiences. You have the ability to say yes to anything that truly matters to you. And infinite variety, the wanted and the unwanted, allow you to get there. The variety is the only way we can be individuals. Otherwise, we are all the same and evolution is not possible.
So, it is all good! Everything is here to support you on your journey!
This week and going forward, I’m inviting you to do something really powerful with these messages.
Use these videos to spark powerful conversations that deepen the value for you and your friends.
Reach out to someone, like you, who is committed to creating a beautiful, self-realized, on-purpose life … who’s committed to being the best version of herself/himself. Invite your friend or friends to subscribe.
Then watch the video each week when it arrives in your inbox, and schedule a regular time to connect to discuss the insights that resonated with you. You can do this on the phone or in-person over lunch or coffee. Then share what you received and how you want it to make a difference for you. I’ve even included some questions to get you started.
1. What big takeaway or “aha moment” did you receive from this message?
2. Why does this matter to you?
3. What are you now choosing to say yes to in a bigger way, and why?
When we go deeper into these conversations, beyond the conceptual level, they have the impact we really want to experience. We also become people of positive influence and cultivate conversations that truly matter, that support and empower us and others.
As always, reach out and send me a message to share what’s opening up for you, or if you have any questions.
Celebrate being you, and being a person of positive influence! Thanks for watching and I’ll see you next week!