How To Free Yourself When You’re Feeling Stuck

Have you ever wanted to move forward with a heartfelt desire, a project or goal, but you just can’t seem to make the progress you want? Have you ever felt stuck? Well, in this week’s video message, we’re going to look at what creates that experience, and what you can do to easily move forward in the way you truly desire. You’ll also learn how to recognize and free yourself from some of the most common excuses that actually create being stuck. So, it’s all about lining up with your version of awesome!

Time to Freedom: 14 1/2 Liberating Minutes

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How To Free Yourself When You’re Feeling Stuck

Hi, Elari Onawa, I’ve been a  Life On Purpose Coach since 2003. I’m also the author of Just Believe How Faith In Yourself Shifts Everything! Welcome to training messages for creating more of your version of awesome. Welcome to this week’s message How To Free Yourself When You’re Feeling Stuck.

Have you ever wanted to move forward with a heartfelt desire, a project or goal, but you just can’t seem to make the progress you want? Have you ever felt stuck? Well, in this week’s video message, we’re going to look at what creates that experience, and what you can do to easily move forward in the way you truly desire. You’ll also learn how to recognize and free yourself from some of the most common excuses that actually create being stuck. So, it’s all about lining up with your version of awesome!

I’ve worked with thousands of people throughout my career, first as a business leader for large companies for over twenty years, and then as a life on purpose coach since 2003. So, I have in-depth knowledge about creating the progress you really want, and why we can sometimes feel stuck. But, when you know how to distinguish the cause, you’re well on your way to creating a solution that works for you!

In my message How Change Really Happens (the fun and easy way) I talked about the five important components of your environment and how they help you create transformation in a fun and easy way. Those five components are:

  1. Your Mindset
  2. Your Skillset
  3. Your Physical Space
  4. Your Gifts
  5. Your Support Structures

So, there are ways to line up with the results you want in a fun and powerful way and to set yourself up for the success you’re really looking for. But, what’s under the feeling of being stuck or feeling like you’re progressing more slowly than you’d like? What can you do if you’re feeling that way?

Let’s look at what may be happening if you’re feeling bogged down around an important project, a heartfelt goal, or a move you really want to make. Almost always, when you’re feeling stuck or stalled, there’s some form of unresolved insecurity that’s causing that experience. Let’s look at this further because security often hides under common excuses and rationalizations.

Insecurity is uncertainty about oneself, a decision or a next step. You might experience it as a lack of confidence, indecisiveness, procrastination, lack of movement, fear or anxiety. But, just because these feelings currently exist, doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong or scary lurking ahead on your path. These feelings are common when you move into new territory.

Insecurity Occurs Because Somewhere You May Be:

  1. Cultivating what could go wrong instead of what could go well
  2. Not recognizing yourself as powerful and capable
  3. Trying to figure it all out first, and you’re overwhelming yourself
  4. In need of new skills, support structures or you may need to recognize and use your gifts in a different way.

Do you notice something interesting from this list? Everything is absolutely within your control!

Here’s a word of caution because it’s where people can get stuck, and sometimes for a long time.

Don’t let an excuse blind you to the truth.

Here are some examples I often hear from people when they first come to work with me and are struggling to make the progress they really want. Listen to these with an open mind, to see if you’ve ever heard yourself use any of them.

  • If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.
  • Now is not the right time.
  • I’m too busy.
  • I don’t know how or have the skills.
  • I’m not good enough or don’t know enough.
  • My spouse or friends don’t support me or believe I can.
  • I don’t have the money.
  • It’s too hard.
  • Look how far along everyone else is.

Here’s a super-liberating insight these are not just excuses, if you use them, they become declarations and your reality. And using the excuse covers up the root cause, in other words … what’s really creating the experience of being stuck! These are all mindset related; it’s where everything starts. So, let’s look at what logically happens when we draw thee types of conclusions about ourselves or the world in which we’re creating.

If we say; “it’ll happen only if it’s meant to be,” then we’re giving away our power to attract the life experiences we really want, and telling ourselves we have no control over what we can have. This is never really true. It may temporarily feel better to declare “it’ll happen if it’s meant to be,” but that conclusion may actually be covering up a fear. Only you can know what’s really true for you. But, if you’re ever feeling stuck or not making the progress you want, it’s worth looking deeper and with gentle honesty.

Good questions help you expand your possibilities for different or more satisfying experiences.

Conclusions and assumptions close your mind to new ideas and so create the feeling of being stuck when you want to experience something new.

So, let’s look at some powerful questions to ask yourself if you hear yourself using any of these assumptions. If you hear yourself saying “it’ll happen only if it’s meant to be” and you know it’s something you really want, consider these questions:

  • Are you insecure about something? If so, what is it?
  • Are you giving in to that fear and waiting for something to change or is there something you could do to move beyond that?
  • How else could you see your current condition or goal?
  • What perspective feels empowering?

Let’s look at the next two — not enough time and I’m too busy. I’ve used these myself in the past. But here’s the thing to get about these declarations, if we keep telling ourselves that it’s not the right time or we’re too busy, we’ll believe that, and live from that mindset. The result — we’ll fill up our schedules with things that may not really matter as much, as the heartfelt goal or experience … all because we’ve declared that we’re too busy, or it’s not the right time. Again, what’s really there?

An excuse just keeps you from getting to the solution.

And we can’t get to the solution if we buy into an excuse. Why? Because by accepting an excuse, we make it true for ourselves. So, instead of declaring that the time isn’t right or we’re too busy, we can ask a powerful question such as —

  • What can I put into place or accept as true instead, so I can move forward in a way that works for me?
  • What do I really want to create here?

Do you see how those questions, if followed, open up a powerful, new possibility rather than a feeling of being stuck?

Let’s look at the next three common reasons people often use that create not taking relevant action — I don’t know how or have the skills, I’m not good enough, or my spouse or friends don’t support me.

Can you see what’s created here if you accept any of those statements as true?

You create being stuck, because you’re telling yourself you can’t have something, because of that reason or excuse. What’s really true? Maybe there are some new skills required, and if so you can identify them and move forward. Just a word of caution though, I’ve also seen a lot of people get stuck in getting ready, and collecting more information, as a way of avoiding what’s really scaring or stopping them. Skills can be learned, but this is an area that people often use to hide. If you’re stuck, check in to see what’s true for you.

Are you using someone else’s behavior, or “getting ready” to delay specific actions?

If so, what action scares you or feels like a big leap? That’s where you want to have a breakthrough! That’s the breakthrough that will produce the results you really want!

  • So, what can you do to expand your confidence in that area?
  • Can you start with a smaller step, or see yourself as bigger?

So here’s my quick plug. Naturally, I recommend my book “Just Believe: How Faith In Yourself Shifts Everything”. It’s an amazing resource for expanding belief in yourself and what’s possible and upgrading your mindset. The key here is to see that an excuse is a disempowering declaration, so don’t buy into any of them as if they are a true, etched-in-stone facts … because they are not.

You get to choose anything you desire, so choose what empowers and uplifts you!

Let’s look at the final three common reasons people use that create being stuck — I don’t have the money, it’s too hard or look how far along everyone else is.

Remember these are declarations that create a feeling of being stuck. We take them into the future if we buy into them and keep cultivating them. What do you create if you tell yourself that you don’t have enough money or something is too hard? You bring not enough money and it’s too hard into your future. What do you create if you’re comparing yourself to others and making yourself less than in some way? The answer is doubt and insecurity! You are creating that and so it’s only natural that you won’t want to move forward from that perspective. Ask yourself;

  • Who could you be, if you let go of that idea?
  • What else could be possible that supports your heartfelt desire?
  • Are you willing to believe you can have that?

If you’re feeling stuck don’t buy into anything that disempowers you. Instead, cultivate something that moves, uplifts and inspires you, rather than feeding insecurity, worry or overwhelm. Feed yourself with nurturing self-talk and you WILL move guaranteed! If there’s something you truly want, don’t ever let an excuse stand in your way. Be willing to believe that you can have what you desire, in a way that feels good to you, and not only will you move, but you will thrive as well.

If you’ve discovered something powerful here, share this message with others! And if you don’t already subscribe to my weekly messages for more of your life’s magic and awesomeness, you can do that here. Thanks for reading or watching and I’ll see you next week!

Much Love, 

Elari

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Elari Onawa

Author of “Just Believe: How Faith in Yourself Shifts Everything!” I’ve been coaching and leading Life Purpose and Self-Discovery programs since 2003. Prior to that, I led large organizations for 20+ years, helping them align with their dreams and goals. If you're looking for more meaning and fulfillment if you're ready for more awesome ...I can help you have that!
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