If you’ve ever been in a conversation that left you frustrated, and not feeling heard, an experience where nothing is resolved — take heart. You’re about to discover some powerful ways to create conversations that have a postive impact.
Let’s start with today. What conversations are you creating right now? You can tell by how you feel.
If you’re inspired, feeling loved or happy, and if you like what’s showing up for you, you’re using language well. You are creating joy and fulfillment through the conversations you’re having with yourself and others. We’ve all experienced feeling happy, uplfited and enthusiastic. And the more we nurture conversations that make us feel good, the better life gets. The more we talk about what we appreciate and love, the more love and wellbeing we invite into our experience. We thrive!
There are also times when we seem to forget that we create in language. After all, who would intentionally make something hard, or create something they didn’t really want? I’m smiling as I write this, because I’ve done it, and I’m sure you’ve experienced this too. Yet the simple truth is — if we want to expand our joy and fulfillment, we need to remember who we truly are, the one creating. This is true, even in moments of upset. Yet even then, we can quickly step into a powerful vantage-point by talking a deep breath, and remembering that we create in language. We can ask ourselves; is this what I really want to create?
Purposeful conversations from a clear space nourish the soul. They create growth and understanding, and they also foster appreciation, respect, and feeling heard. They expand our concept of what’s possible, and allow deeper learning and positive life experiences to grow and blossom. They enable new levels of
happiness and fulfilling connections. And this is by no means a complete list, there’s a lot more. Clear, intentional conversations that come from what we truly desire — for example, love, happiness, joy — create more of those experiences.
So what about those conversations that seem to go nowhere? Here are three steps you can apply to create a conversation that uplifts and inspires you and others.
Clear Space, Clear Objective, Clear About You
1. Create a clear space for a powerful conversation to happen. This means we have to be willing to give up our assumptions, and any desire to assign blame. It may be automatic to assume we know the intentions of another, but if we’re assuming we already know, it’s impossible to see what’s really there, or to create anything new. To create a clear space, drop assumptions and step into curiosity. Be willing to see that there is always another vantage-point, and it can be beneficial to see it.
2. Create a clear, soul-nourishing objective for the conversation. What do you really want to create? What really matters to you? For example, do you want to simply get your point across, or do you want to understand what really happened? Do you want to create a powerful partnership, or feel the fleeting satisfaction of being right? How do you want to leave the other person feeling? Do you want to feel heard? If so, you have to be willing to listen. Make what truly matters your priority. Then focus on the conversation, rather than “trying to fix” yourself, or someone else. When you do, you’ll liberate yourself from the “talking-over-each-other, going-nowhere” conversations. You can create beautiful, new possibilities!
3. Choose a clear and powerful way of seeing yourself. For example, do you see yourself as someone who is clear, or perhaps someone who uplifts and inspires? Do you see yourself as an amazing listener, calm and steady, a powerful creator … or do you see yourself as someone struggling to find the right words? You get to choose, and what you choose determines how you communicate! So see yourself as a powerful communicator and creator. Believe that into existence, and you will be well on your way to conversations that support what you really want to expand in your life experiences.
As with any skill, enjoy the process, as you master the art of conversations that matter! Have fun playing in the sandbox of time and space!
P.S. I recently finished teaching a four-week program called “Conversations that Make a Difference”. It was a privilege to lead a program filled with people who love the idea of taking their conversation to the next level. When we take on being powerful communicators, we become masterful creators. If you’d like to receive more messages like this or want to be notified about upcoming events, subscribe here. Here’s to a life of beauty and grace!