Have you ever found yourself thinking that if you just got this one “thing” you’d be happier? For many people, that one thing is more time, money, or some “big” event like finding a fulfilling relationship or getting their dream job.
When that “thing” happens, or so the thinking goes … everything else will magically fall into place. Then, we will be happy, successful or fulfilled.
The problem with this way of thinking is that we can’t have what we want from that perspective. Why? Because we get what we expect, what we cultivate. If we want to be happier in some area, then we have to feel happy now, not at some point in the future (after something else happens). We can’t create happiness if we are cultivating unhappiness. And we can’t have plenty if we are cultivating lack. We can’t attract more success if we are feeling unsuccessful in some way.
Fortunately, we don’t need to have an external condition met in order to be happier or to feel blessed or successful.
Happiness is an emotion. It is a demonstration or signal that we find something pleasing, that we are content, fulfilled or satisfied in some way. So, happiness is not determined by an outside condition. Rather, it is determined by how we are currently choosing to see things. Our level of happiness is determined by how we choose to frame whatever we happen to be focusing on, at any given moment. And this is good because it means that we are 100% in control of our happiness, success, and ability to have plenty.
We create how we feel, by how we frame things, by how we are choosing to see ourselves and the world around us. It’s not about the external condition. It’s about how we are seeing them. Yay!
As with happiness, you get to define and experience plenty, ease, success etc. in whatever way you choose. “Plenty” is the state or quality of abundance and it’s defined by the meaning you place upon it, as is “success” or happiness. For example, my version of plenty, and my definition of success may be different than yours. What I value and want to grow in my life experience may also be different. Someone else may think that we are blessed, and others may think we’re paupers.
How you choose to frame the events and experiences in your life really matters . Our experiences are always determined by how we habitually focus. For example, when we notice that we have plenty, we will naturally feel good. The awareness of what we already have, and how much is truly available creates the expectation that we’ll have even more awesome stuff showing up in our lives. This will naturally feel good! This will naturally allow us to experience more of what we want.
We allow the state of happiness to grow by cultivating the feeling or vantage-point of thoughts that feel better. We allow love, success or happiness to grow by cultivating them. Isn’t that a good thing to know? Isn’t reaching for a better-feeling perspective a great habit to cultivate?
If we instead focus on “what’s wrong”, we’ll naturally get caught in fixing things and trying to solve the problem that was created from an ongoing focus on “what’s wrong”. Eventually, we create fear, not because there is actually something to be afraid of, but because we’re scaring ourselves. This is the basis of all worry. Unless we’re being chased by an angry bear, fear-based feelings (which rob us of happiness) tell us that the frame of mind we are currently cultivating isn’t helping us have what we want. Isn’t this also good to know and remember?
Our true leverage is the state-of-being we are cultivating in any given moment.
You’ve probably had the experience of trying really hard to achieve something, and then not getting it. Everyone has done that at some point, and it’s a great lesson. I’ve been there and done that too! It shows us clearly that greater prosperity, satisfaction, happiness and realizing a heartfelt desire are not found in how much we do. If that were true, we’d just have to do more, and we’d automatically be happier and have everything we’ve always wanted.
Yet, this is not how it’s done and thankfully so, because who wants to keep working harder or exhaust themselves by an ever-growing list of things we “must do” in order to be happier or more successful? Instead, as we cultivate feelings of happiness, life gets better and better. By cultivating those feelings and expectations, we are allowing ourselves to have more of what we want, and in a way that also feels good.
Happiness tells us that we are on an empowered path, that we are focusing more on what’s working well than what’s not working well. This glorious feeling means that we are framing our life experiences in a way that makes us feel good! And so life just gets better and better.
The experiences of happiness are perspectives first.
The external condition always follows the internal perspective. And we can cultivate fulfilling perspectives every day, on purpose, by choosing to do so!
Just make a small change to your daily routine. Add one small habit that nurtures the feeling of happiness and you grow your desired experiences.
Here are 12 examples of tiny, yet mighty practices that create more happiness.
Choose one or two and watch the magic happen!
1. Create a morning habit of counting your blessings. You can do this in the shower, as you’re brushing your teeth, before you get out of bed, as you’re stretching your body, or writing in a journal. You get to choose! Also, if you tie this empowering way-of-being to something you’re already doing, you’ll remember to do it.
3. Create mental or written lists of all the people, experiences and things you appreciate in your life.
4. Share what you’re excited about or what you appreciate when you talk with others! Don’t let someone else’s habit of complaining effect how you feel. You get to be where you choose to be.
5. If you’re tempted to complain about an unwanted event, remember that what you focus upon expands. This makes it a lot easier to let “it” go. You can also ask yourself; do I really want to create this? If not, simply let it go and choose something that feels better!
6. When you look for evidence or reasons to be happier, you’ll find them! Notice your energy and experiences feeling better!
7. If you feel worried about something, remember that worry means you’re mentally rehearsing an unwanted possibility. Good, now you’re aware! Take a deep breath, smile and let it go gently. Instead of imagining that, ask yourself; what would be fun? What feels better, more satisfying or awesome?
8. Play more in every area of your life. This is really powerful because when you’re in the spirit of play, “problems” automatically disappear. You feel lighter and happier, and new inspiring ideas will naturally emerge too!
9. Commit to having the most amazing life experiences you can imagine! Make it a true priority. This means that you: imagine good-feeling scenarios, say yes to feeling happier and abundantly blessed. And it also means that you are saying no to lack-based thinking, looking for happiness outside yourself, or pushing yourself to always do more. Making your happiness a priority means saying no to complaint-based conversations and instead, saying yes to conversations and self-talk that uplifts and inspires you.
10. Connect with someone you love or respect every day in an email, on the phone, or in-person. Tell her/him how they’ve made a difference in your life and why you appreciate them. Guess what sharing love does? Yep, you’ll feel happier too!
11. Be on purpose, choose the outlook you want to cultivate, like amazing or happier or powerful etc. so you can have more experiences that thrill and delight you!
12. Begin or end your day in celebration. What do or did you get to do, learn or experience that you want to acknowledge? What are you proud of or happiest for?
You can be as happy as you want to be, you have that power within you!
Isn’t it good to know how awesome you are ? And so it is!
P.S. If you haven’t read “Just Believe: How Faith In Yourself Shifts Everything” yet … This book is a powerful happiness-expanding resource.