What to Do When You’re Not Getting the Results You Want
Here’s a hint on figuring out your life’s purpose… it almost never lies behind the doors marked, “Be Practical,” “Get Real,” or “Nothing to Fear!” – TUT
As I work with clients, I inevitably see “it” … an automatic response that comes up to cope with a challenge or a leap that feels too big, or too scary. Even if this automatic response isn’t productive, it’s really important to see that the response itself is not a character flaw, and it has nothing to do with your capabilities, talents or worthiness. It’s just a response!
We’ve all experienced “it” — counterproductive thinking, and their corresponding reactions. And the good news is, we don’t have to be stuck them. We can transcend them!
Do you ever tell yourself some version of – I can’t, I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work, maybe I’m not cut out for this … or I’ll look at this “later,” but then “later” doesn’t come? It’s in these moments that we want to slow down, smile, take a deep breath and release. We can smile, and be very thankful that we’re aware of our thinking. This awareness allows us to invest our precious energy in powerful perspectives, rather being stuck with counterproductive thinking.
If you see a response that makes you want to give up on something you truly want — this is a life-altering choice point. This is your opportunity to place your faith in what you truly want, instead of placing your faith in what you don’t want. It’s a choice between yes, I can or … no, I can’t.
If you’re struggling to create something that you really want, it’s your way of handling “perceived adversity” that probably needs to be transformed. If you quit, you change nothing. It’s your reaction to the unwanted condition that needs to change!
– So, when things don’t turn out exactly the way you planned, how do you respond?
– What do you tell yourself?
– Is that response helping you, or hindering you?
You may want to pause, and write down what you see because your self-talk creates how you experience life!
If for example, you make an event mean that it’s not the right path or process, then it won’t be, no matter what you do! And if you keep questioning your choices, every time something unwanted shows up on your path, you’ll be caught in a never-ending cycle of choosing … yet another path. In these scenarios, the responses to the unwanted conditions aren’t very helpful!
Again, fear and less-than-pleasant-automatic-responses don’t mean that you’re incapable of having what you really want. And they don’t mean that you’re unworthy. If it’s a heartfelt dream or desire, and you really want it, you are being called toward who you truly are! You are being called toward your purpose and joy!
So, don’t give up!
A necessary and fulfilling component of growing into your goals and living your purpose — is that you get to expand how you see yourself, and what is possible! You get to explore new territory and grow! You also get to learn new skills! This is all supposed to be fun! If it’s not, then you’re probably making yourself wrong somewhere. If so, you’re going to want to let that response go! Do you want to have fun growing into your heartfelt dreams and desires, or do you want to struggle with them?
Let yourself have fun learning and growing, so you can soar in bigger, more fulfilling ways!
When faced with an unwanted condition:
1. Recommit to what truly matters to you.
2. Then ask yourself: what is working well?
3. What do I want to refine, add or release, based on what I’m learning?
4. Then use what you’ve learned in a fun and fulfilling way! You can do that by appreciating who you’re becoming, what you’re learning, and what’s already working. You can take inspired action, as you happily anticipate the inevitable fulfillment of what you want to experience next.
You’ve got this!